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Found 4 results

  1. With all the drama of last month, I was a bit hesitant to bring this up with more detail. Plus with the whole notion of "the internet never forgets" mixed with the fact that I have a very googleable name, I have to be careful with how I present this. Keeping in mind that potential employers can view this, I'm pretty much going out on a limb with what I'm about to state publicly. Hopefully it doesn't come around to bite me in the future, but this post would be meaningless if I failed to admit it: I have a serious problem with game addiction I've pretty much always known this. I even swore off gaming for a 5 year period because of this, and my career couldn't have been better off for it. Hell there's at least a correlation that it might run in the family...I remember my mother once told me my father refused to use our Atari/NES/SNES because he knew he'd get hooked. While some folks refute its existence or try to sugarcoat it, the patterns are not that much different from substance addiction. The way it creeps into your life and eventually overwhelms it, the existence and symptoms of withdrawal, the fact that it has repeatedly affected me while others are fine. That last one is especially poigniant, since I've known alcoholics and can contrast them with myself in a way that they could contrast themselves with me re: gaming. Gaming addiction has held me back from whatever my full potential would have been. It's caused me to cut off various social relationships. It strikes me in my moment of weakness and the only thing that ever pulls me out of it is an intense amount of self-loathing and the willpower to force myself to rewrite my own habits. The only thing that keeps it from festering like it has during the last couple years is a steady commitment, like a job. (one of which I really need to actually start looking for, heh) Over the years I've been putting up defenses. They've been pretty good, but sometimes they falter. Since my WoW addiction ended in early 2007 I've sworn off MMOs. With the rise of the casual and mobile gaming markets I became a lot more aware of Skinner Box game elements and would avoid getting into such games. A huge oversimplification of what this is: You know how a lot of games have some type of reward that appears at slower and slower intervals, forcing you to repeat the same experience over and over to collect these while the changes to gameplay are miniscule? That's how skinner boxes tend to manifest in games. It ranges from FarmVille's mechanics to GTA Online's progression systems to CoD's unlockables to even Binding of Isaac's unlockables. Yeah, it's practically a checkbox these days. As a somewhat wise (but not wise enough) addict, I could see through those easily. (though with GTA Online, I didn't care...heh) Unfortunately, what those defenses couldn't help against, and I guess what separates me from someone without addictive tendencies, is when the experience is actually enjoyable. TF2's skinner box elements are lightweight at worst. The fact of the matter is I enjoy TF2 and getting involved as a modder stretched that enjoyment indefinitely. The problem is I'm terrible with portion control and so I've found a way to limit my TF2 playing, since being able to pop in all the time meant too many chances for spontaneous escapism or a planned 30 minute visit becoming 8 hours. So I've worked out a system that'll prevent me from doing this, that'll give me a sizable time delay between my desire to pop into TF2 and when I can actually do so, enough of a delay for my self-control to kick in. Of course the side effect is I can't just play TF2 casually anymore. Right now, I've reached the phase where I've accepted the problem, and have worked out some countermeasures. The fact of the matter is I need to get my life together. I've had a history of working on and abandoning indie game concepts. Much of the motivation behind all the stuff I coded for VSP (and for AM in general) was to get myself back on the horse. There's two things I need to do...get a day job again (or sufficiently sustaining contract work, however the hell people do that [seriously, if you know, PM me :P ]) but also devote time to indie project #7...I think it is? I've produced a lot of vaporware over time, but at least I also still have all that code, so it's not like I'm starting from scratch. So what does it mean for myself and VSP? Portion control with TF2 means I have to work with my weakness. Since I enjoy being on for (too many hours) per day, it'd make sense for me to work on fixes and new code in 2-4 day clumps. Ideally doing the longer work around holidays so there's less guilt involved. I'm behind on my fixes so I'm going to try to use the first full weekend in October (reason: So I'm not tempted to finish the Gun Mettle campaign) as a time to get some long overdue fixes first, probably no new code. I'll maintain a list in my next reply in this thread. Oh, and I'm not quitting. I've privately said to people some things that could be misconstrued, but it all stemmed from my addiction problem and my lack of a plan at the time to balance RL with TF2. BTW, feel free to post any bugs that are within my scope that I haven't listed in my next reply. I guess I'm making use of this thread as not only a confessional, but also a means to git'er done.
  2. I Read The hitch-hiker's guide to the galaxy, Watched Stargate SG1, and played Team fortress 2. Bring on the Zombies. My team would consist of: Ford Prefect (and his baybelfish) SG1, from SG1, And all nine of those good old buddies from TF2.
  3. Okay so, i just had this simply amazing stupid idea i wanted to try, the last pony to post here will get a pet turtle and as many bits as i can spare!! Rules:there is a 2 post wait time, and an 12 hour limit, if you are the last poster for 12 hours, you win. and now starts round 1 GO!!