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  1. Foreword It's only a quick "spur of the moment" writing I suddenly had while bored, it's rough'ish and I plan on making changer and either redo or fill a bit more into some areas, but now I want others to say what they think of how it is at this moment, so yeah D: Not done, still in a -fixing- state, but want to hear feedback. Finally got a name for my OC now, Duke Greywinter. First Draft of Duke Greywinter's Story Up on the hill, overlooking the town of Withertree, lived the Winters family aptly named for their family's love of ice and snow. They were seen as the towns benefactors, their connections with other towns and businesses gave the people of Withertree jobs as well as trade goods. They were seen as the benefactors, unofficial -owners- of the town. Soon over time their family generations had made its impact and gained notoriety in the capital of Equestria, and they were invited to a ceremony at Canterlot Castle, where the current ruling princess Celestia would bestow upon them the title of Duke and Duchess of Withertree. With the title, they gained official guardianship of the town and its surrounding lands, giving them allowance to have a small military force to their disposal, lands to gain tax from and a plethora of fertile land and materials to sell and trade for the good of the town and Equestria.They were popular among their town and the businesses all around Equestria, their town of Withertree located by the Sea Of Torrentia, shielding them from one side, the other with a thick tree covered mountain, known as Oscars Peak, named of the first pony to set his hoofs on top of it.There were two main roads in an out of the town, one going through a ponymade passage through the woods and between the peaks of the mountain leading to their neighboring town of Stonesorrow. The other road leading straight north towards the wilderness, road meant to be towards another town, but it has yet to be made.He was only 12 years of age when the tragedy that struck his home town of Withertree in The Northern Way.The days running up to the horrifying day were filled with rumors and scared voices. "They will surely arrive here soon, we must do something!" One would say, but another voice would speak, "Why would they? We have nothing of worth to them, nor have we done any harm to anyone." A mixture of fear and false security seemed to blanket the town.Little Greywinter lived in the mansion, rarely allowed out to play with others, only allowed to do so when he had finished his work the tutor gave him was satisfactory to his father, rarely happened, but his mother gave him some leeway when possible. He loved to run around with the other kids from the town, even if he was at times the butt of most jokes, he didn't mind it, being around other ponies his own age was wonderful. On the day, all was calm, as cold as any other day one would say. Greywinter was working with his father on his articulation, having issues with speech from rarely speaking, always getting talked to. There was a scream, a roar from what seemed out of nowhere, muffled by the halls that protected them from the outside. His father ran towards the window and stared down towards the town. A streak of brown with ice flew past the window and startled him, nearly making him fall to the ground. "Grey, go find your mother...NOW!" He stood back up and with a face that little Grey has never seen on his father before, a stare that made his insides go solid. "GO!" His father yelled again, and Grey ran as fast as he could out of the marble sitting room.He took a second glance back towards his father, he was running towards the front door. Crying, but his face was that of stone, an expression he has never seen before. His father used his magic and lifted a large hammer that was displayed over the fireplace that was placed in the main hall. The large heavy oak doors swinging effortlessly open and shutting with a bang after him as he was running down towards the town.Greywinter meet his mother halfway up the stairs towards the second floor. "Mommy, father jus-." But he was cut off as his mothers expression gave him another surprise, a chill that froze him to his very core. She was scared. She lifted him with her magic, and ran back up the stairs. She didn't speak as she ran with the servants into the library at the far end of the house, a tall room with barely any windows, only few were small and colored glass so one could not see outside. They barricaded the doors once the last of the house staff were safely inside.There were sobbing and immediately there were talk among the staff. Grey looked up at his mother. "Mommy, d-daddy went outside. Why did he go outside?" His mother pulled him closer to her, not using her magic now, holding her hoofs around him as she spoke with a shaky but calm voice. "Y-you know how father loves you and w-wishes to keep you safe..Well little G-grey.." He nodded up at her, tears welling up around his eyes. "The has to h-help the town as well now...t...they need help to..." Before she could speak any further, as if a lighting bolt in the dark, a loud howl could be heard right outside, then another...and another, a chorus of cries to the sky were heard reverberate in the library.They did not dare venture outside of the safe walls of the library until very late the next day, once the food some of the staff has hastily carried with them had run out. There were an eerie silence over the mansion, only hoofsteps were heard. His mother keeping him right next to her, not letting him go from her at all. The view out the broken window down towards the town was one that were to set into his memory forever. The town looked like it had been torn through by some unseen force, a street burnt out, smoldering embers left in the destructive fires wake. The cries suddenly audible now as the window was gone, he heard them down there, muffled no longer. A foals screaming for its mother, a mare for its loved one, a stallion for its family, all he could hear, he stood there staring, his mother trying to pull him away but failing to move him an inch. His wonderful world of Withertree had turned into a nightmare, his brain bombarded with emotions and information, he couldn't understand, why here...why them?The small army was already in position, seeing to wounded ponies, searching for the ones trapped in buildings and those who might have run off to hide in the forest. His mother kept him from the town, having a proximity spell put on him, making him stay with her, but she wouldn't have needed to, he was scared and had no wish to leave her side. It took a moment before he realized his father was not back. Asking his mother, she gave no answer. "TIMBERWOLF ATTACKS WITHERTREE" was the headline of the papers that was barely able to run in town, but no one needed to read it, they knew it would come. His mother called in all the favors that the Winters had earned through the ears, stronghoofing businesses to lend aid and threatening other prominent homes of blackmail if they did not help. She turned harsh from what has happened. It was on the second day that his father returned, carried by two army medics on a gurney, he was alive, but only barely. He had rushed to the aid of the people of the town, eyewitnesses say he was fearless, majestic as he ran to protect the elderly and young ones as they hurried off to safety. His fathers bravery was told and re-told so many times, and sent over in newspapers that it was not soon after the families and businesses who had been strong armed and threatened into support has spoken out with pride and loyalty that they was happy to help the Winter family and the town of Withertree, gaining themselves fame as the friends of a hero, basking in his fathers glory. It was only on confidence at a much older age that his father told him why he did it, why he rushed to protect the town from the Timberwolfs. "I did not do it for the glory, or fame, I could not care less for what other ponies think of status. I did it because I can not stand still when other are in danger, it is what makes us Winters so special, it's the bravery that runs inside us all, the fearless stallion that lives inside me...inside you..." His last words to his son Grey, before he passed away. His mother, came down ill with a strange infection not long after, rumors circulated saying it was heartbreak, that she could not live without her love. Grey, now Duke Greywinter, having taken up the family name and title of Duke from his father, was not a foal any more. He was a stallion, his face set in stone, showing only what he felt the ponies of the newly rebuilt town of Withertree needed to see, shielding them from the insecure and scared boy who cowered in the shadow of his father.
  2. I was browsing online trying to find people to add to this when I thought some here might want to so if you want to add to this there is the link.
  3. A word of warning: This thread is largely going to consist of me bitching. What follows is the last thing I wrote before entering graduate school a year ago. I wrote it for another forum after a year of sitting around playing with myself (by which I mean single-player video games). Initially it was going to be a short reflection on one of the most memorable experiences of my undergraduate career: the gaming club. As it turns out, I had more to say than I thought and the project wound up being ten parts in length. Even now, I feel it’s one of the best things I’ve written and I’d like to share it with you. Now understand, this is being told exclusively from my point-of-view and there are those who would have radically different opinions on these occurrences. Also, it is entirely possible that I will get some details wrong, because it was a complicated situation and it’s been a while since I was involved. That being said, I promise to report my experiences truthfully to the best of my recollection. Part I: In which our protagonist becomes associated with a festive fellowship. Let’s begin with some backstory. The gaming club was founded two years before I joined by two guys who liked playing Counterstrike. They decided to form a club so they could hold LANs with other students and host Counterstrike tournaments, among other things. These two must have been incredibly persuasive, because they convinced SGA to buy them a gaming server, on the condition they use it to promote the school and help retain students with extra-curricular entertainment. One of the founders became president and the other did…other stuff. I don’t know. He’s cool too. Over the next year, the club grew and averaged two LAN parties per semester. Everything was fine and dandy. Then the founder decided to hand the presidency over to whomever was interested, figuring he could teach his successor how things worked. For the sake of conversation, we’ll call the second president Sauron, because the son of a bitch would continue to bother us for ages after being defeated. From my understanding, Sauron was president for about two months before being pressured to resign. Apparently, he wasn’t interested in doing anything but playing games, as opposed to organizing activities and seeking out sponsors. Whatever happened, Sauron held a grudge. The next two presidents continued the policies of the founder and things continued to improve. By the time I joined, the club was on its fourth president. Understand, I was new to the college environment and wished to find a place to fit in. While I knew little about college, I knew plenty about video games, so the gaming club seemed a natural fit. During the first meeting, elections were held for executives. When we got to historian, nobody raised a hand. So I did. Why? Well, like I said, I wanted to fit in. Plus I had never really had a leadership position and it sounded like doing so would be a great way of making my dick feel bigger than it really is (the most worthy of goals). I won, unanimously. After the meeting, I felt like I had made a mistake. See, I didn’t actually have a camera and, even if I got one, I was afraid that I wouldn’t do a good job. By the time of the first LAN, I bucked up quite a bit. Not only did I buy a camera, but I quite enjoyed snapping lots of pictures during the event. Soon after, I learned how to upload them to the gaming club’s forums, in which I had become active, and email prize-related images to sponsors. I felt good.
  4. Hi there. Please, sit down. Go grab a stiff drink. I'll warn you now, this is going to be a long post. I'll do my best to abridge it and narrow down some of the finer details, but it's still probably going to be eclipsing the charecter limit. If you don't like long, depressing stories, then you can leave. I won't mind. So...I guess all stories start at the beginning, right? The beginning for this one goes all the way back to late 2010/Early 2011 or something, I forget precisely when. I was introduced to the show by a friend at the time (he and I have parted seperate ways since then however), roughly about the tail end of the first Season - roughly between Episodes 25 and 26 ("Party of One" and "Best Night Ever"). However for me, I started all the way back at the beginning with the first episode and watched progressively from there. And honestly? I liked it. I make it no secret that I have high standards and view everything though the same scope - for us, the word "Nostalgia" doesn't exist. Regardless of it's time and place or Audiance, if a show is good it's good. If it's bad or just not aged well, well... Anyways, I think it's during the interrim between Seasons where we became...assimilated. The Brony fanbase was a differant place back then, and I have fond memories of those Halcyon days. This pretty much reached a peak on Ponibooru, where I was forced to admit one of the deepest, darkest and most abhorrant truths publically. Any other fandom would have either been reviled, or torn us apart like a pack of savage animals. Here instead, I was still loved and accepted with open arms. It's one of the few happy memories I kept with me. It's a short while later I started having a bizarre, feverish dream about Fluttershy and a giant Pony. That dream would later manifest itself as Something Broken, which I wrote though sickness, starvation and depression...I was having a low period, and writing it was a way to help overcome depression. The giant pony - Atlas - would later become my Ponysona. His modern personality however has changed radically from the FanFiction, and I've entertained the idea of giving it an update. An update that'd probably never happen. At any rate, the story was moderately successful, even if I thought it could have been much, much better (the pacing - despite it being 18 pages long - felt rushed in my view for example). Oh sure it wasn't My Little Dashie or Haunting Nightmare, but I can at least take pride in the fact it was moderately successful. That, and it's the only complete FanFiction of anything I've written to date. Things were rolling high for me...until I encountered, Riptide would describe him "a complete jerk" (Riptide used much, much harsher words when this guy was bought up though). The relationship only lasted a couple of weeks, and in hindsight I'm surprised I tolerated him for so long - the guy kept making demands and issuing orders, didn't reprociate any sign of loyalty, but the kicker was that he insulted a very close personal friend of mine. You do not do that. At all. Then Season 2 happened. Wow. Never mind the Derpy Controversy, when the Season wasn't "meh" it was polarisingly bad. To quickly go over some of it - the charecters became wildly exaggerated beyond their first Season selves and came off as flat charectures, a wildly out of control fanservice engine (of which things like the Derpy Controversy are a small part of) and I think this is where the more regular parts of fandom - the parts of fandom I don't like - started to really take hold. Worse, many people hailed these changes as "for the better" or absolutely adored it. If you want me to give a quick example, Lesson Zero is the episode I commonly cite as where things went wrong, as it displays all of Season 2's flaws in some form or another. And yet it's one of the most popular episodes of the Season, despite standing in complete contradiction to the show itself. And for the record, no I don't hate just that episode of the Season. I loathe that particular episode with fiery passion. Other bad episodes I've cited as being bad include The Mysterious Mare Do Well, Dragon Quest (I even acknowledge that this one is in truth the worst episode of the Season. Lesson Zero is only brought up more because I view the episode as much, much more poisonous and harmful to the show), The Last Roundup, Luna Eclipsed, It's About Time, A Friend in Deed and Putting Your Hoof Down. A sad irony considering my all time favourite episode (Read it and Weep if anyone's wondering) is from this Season. ...Which I guess brings me to one of the most commonly misinterpreted points. See, when most people ask me about the Derpy Controversy, they expect me to say "I loved it wholeheartedly" or "I think Derpy is an intentional jab against the mentally disabled." My answer is, "I think the scene needed a little more time in the editing room." I liked the scene, and it was probably the only good moment in the episode. However, the killer is Derpy's voice. Yes I know Derpy's voice actor was unaware of her gender, but this is where a little research would have gone a long way. The end result just made her look and sound brain dead dumb, which combined with the name, well...I can see the "intentional jab at the mentally disabled" side of things. It doesn't help that Derpy's name originated within 4Chan, and that popular use of the terms "Derp", "Derpy" and "Herp" on the internet are usually associated with stupidity, or more specifically are used (or misused) as a slur along the lines of "Autistic" or "ASSBURGERS". Just saying they could have avoided all this by doing a little research. It also opens a hole with Winter Wrap Up, where the same pony is identified as the less offensive "Ditzy Doo", and the name is used interchangeably with Derpy. I myself am actually entirely ambivilant towards Derpy's existance. I simply just don't care about Derpy. Though her voice will always be the voice of BaldDumboRat (in my opinion). However, it's here where the seeds of hatred were sown. I was as I knew the sole fan who felt this way. Some of the others I had seen took it to levels I'd consider to be completely absurd. And people commonly dismiss me as "overthinking it". Over time, this lead to alienation within the Fandom. And the alienation and loneliness lead itself to madness and psychotic hatred. I tried to do talk about it with various parties, but my argument was usually dissmissively shrugged off as "your overthinking it" and that would be the end. People were not interested and just expected me to simply bow down and worship the Faust like everyone else. Setting asides the fact Faust and I have some ideological differances, I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. Things reached a peak during one attempt a few months ago. Admittedly, a lot of this one rests on my shoulders - instead of hand typing a long tirade like this, I chose to utilise a (cut) review from my days as a "critic". The response was so bad, so aggressive and so hurtful that I actually had an emotional meltdown pretty much on the spot. I couldn't bear to face them again after that, so I left them. As a final insult however, there was a pair of artists I was good friends with. We traded art, talked and I tried not to trounce their relationship (these artists were a couple, aged 15 and 19. I should point out I'm 22. Isn't it technically pedophillia (or at the very least creepy) to try romancing a 15 year old girl?). Shortly after the announcement of Equestria Girls though, the pair made the choice to leave the Fandom. I gave them my full, undivided support...and for my trouble, I was betrayed. I wanted to try and stay friends, but in turn I recived hate mail and a block as thanks. I couldn't cope with it, so the account was shut down. However, I would set up another account over a month after the incident. I still liked to draw, even if I'm a terrible, terrible artist. So, you might ask where we are now, or the point of all this? Well to answer the first one, I'm actively trying to enjoy the Comic. It's not the greatest, but the writing is a step up from where the show seems to have gone at least. And some of the charecters even have parts that sound more like their Season 1 Charecterisations! Somehow, the writers from the Comic are outdoing the current show writing staff. However, I find myself unable to watch the show any more without pain and discomfort. Previously, I had only really felt pain when a Musical number started playing. I'm not sure why, but the Musicals in the show actually trigger physical and mental pain, . Now, it's just become painful to watch. A lot of people right now just expect me to drop everything and leave... ...And belive it or not, we have tried to leave or forget about it many times. It however isn't happening at all, and forcing it just seems to make everything worse. The only other methord I can think of - a Purge - actually caused Brain Injury the last time I tried it. I became noticably less intelligent when that happened. And the point of all this? On a psychology level, trying to find some level of acceptance. Right now we're in the middle of a massive Culture Shock - and I'm not just talking about Ponies when I say that. Our entire way of life is collapsing around us, and I am trying so hard to resist. That however is a topic for another day, I want to try and keep this one to Ponies. The truth is, I wanted to move here for some time. I'd have moved earlier, if I wasn't so, well...terrified of Bronies. Though my own misguided, stupid mistakes and the general consensus of others (be it though not caring or swarming over us like a shoal of angry pirranahs), I think an internal phobia of the fandom has formed. Despite this, I don't want to view all Bronies as bad people, because they're not. I had a good home here in the fandom once, which goes to prove something. At any rate, I've been talking long enough. I've got to go get ready for an appointment with INGEUS (the Jobseeking agency I'm with). I'll leave this here in the Support and Advice thread and read anything posted when I get back.
  5. Time to start a stor or rp or whatever, where anyone can join at any time in the story, but you have to work your way in, or else it will get confusing.
  6. hey did anybody watch a movie called Leafie:A hen into the wild a south Korean movie if so tell me your thoughts and did it make you cry
  7. I need somepony to proofread a rough draft of a mlp story that im working on to see if im going on the right track or what i need to change here is the link to the story okay here is the story so i need somepony to proofread it and tell me whats woring or if im on the right track its not done in the slightest but i just need to know if im doing it right
  8. Had writers block doing an assignment, so I tried typing a short short story. Hmm… What should I do? I mean, I just woke up, brushed my teeth, and washed my coat a little. Idea: Talk to Deca. He seems a lot like Pinkie Pie (I have met her, I probably won’t forget. Ever) to most ponies, aside from his different coat colours and the fact he’s a colt. Maybe I should see what he’s up to. Good idea. So, I'm walking to Deca’s house, or putting it another way, right next to the bakery. He’s been doing that open-window chatting thing for a while now with Pinkie, Celestia knows what they go on about. In fact, I should probably get my cloud research project done. Hmm. Good idea. I begin to turn aro- “Hey! Want some cupcakes?” -and bump into Pinkie. Every time I come here, she offers me a chocolate cupcake. I always say yes, but they always end up in the cloud freezer, or in some foal’s tummy. “Eh, sure. How much? Also, how was your talk with De-” “Ohitwasreallyfunandhewasreallyfunnyand-“ “Pinkie”, I say. ”-ohthosecupcakesarefreecauseyouremyverybestfrie-“ “Pinkie!” “-andallmyverybestfriendsgetfreecupcakesand-“ “Pinkie! You know how this goes every time. I’m going to pay you three bits, no matter what.” “Aww, come on!” she whines, “How about only one bit?” “Fine, I’ll compromise.” I sigh in resignation,”Two.” “Deal!" she chirps, "I hope you enjoy it! It’s a special recipe today!” So, she hoofs me the cupcake, I hoof her two bits. As always, I take a small bite of the cupcake, to remind myself to eat it later. “It’s pretty good. What did you put in it?” “It’s a seeecret!” she sings happily. All the time. All the time. I wave goodbye to her, trotting home, wings too sedated to bother. That’s odd. I recall, I usually fly ho- I blacked out. Straight off my head, only corrections were translating from English to Ponyspeak. Begin discussion. EDIT: Ponies can wave, right? ((Someone rename this topic to "Random Short Short Story", please. Thanks)) EDIT EDIT: Not sure how I can squeeze something about my OC's Shy-Smart-Stubborn-Assertive (Flutter-Twi-Apple-Dash) personality into this thing. EDIT EDIT EDIT: How the hay did I turn this thing into a Cupcakes intro?
  9. My Pony's name is Brilliant Celebration. To be perfectly honest, I used the name generator posted here on this forum. It gave me that name after I entered Librarian in the "Generic Pony" option. It was pretty, and didn't involve a color, so I was happy. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do for her backstory right now. And I don't want to accidentally close the tab this is in. So, here's the thread that I'm going to place her story in when I'm done.