Dr. Nack

Help, how do I get a girlfriend?

60 posts in this topic

... No, seriously. I'm a 20-year old Pony-loving, TF2-playing, Doctor Who-watching nerd looking for a girlfriend. Where the hell do I start? And no, I'm not in college. I'm working.

I have no idea where I'd even begin to look for a girl with somewhat similar tastes. I ask this because... I WAS SO CLOSE TODAY. SO CLOSE TO GETTING A GIRLFRIEND. BUT SHE WAS TAKEN ALREADY. GOD.

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I know that feel bro, having to be close to a girl who's taken. Luckily her BF dumped her.

My only guess is to be presentable. Some women may not like guys who are not attractive, but being repulsive only makes it worse. Also, keep in mind that some women don't automatically date somebody who is curious in them. Just talk to her; it's hard to overcome your shyness, but trust me, it'll be worth it and you'll be satisfied - but take it slow. Whenever I meet women, they provide their cell phone number and I provide mine, but trust me, I never understand why it happens. Just don't bug her every time or else she won't be interested, and to be honest, I haven't gotten past that part yet.

Having a girlfriend is a slow task, however. In a matter of several conversations, picking up, and dating, there might be a chance that she'll be really interested in you, and then you two can hook up with each other.

That's pretty much all I know about "getting" one; I'm sure somepony here can provide you with some more details. Good luck!

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well heck Nack, i'll sure as sugar help ya at least try and get a girl~

I'm going to need more additional info though about YOU. I've seen ya around the forums and whatnot, but i've never really gotten to know YOU.

the efforts of a relationship are strictly between YOU and whoever else. i can show you the way, and help you till the end, but we'd best talk either thru this thread, or a PM or chatroom. your choice.

EDIT: are you ready for a barrage of questions?

Edited by Calzone

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1: what kind of area do you live in? suburbs, or a thick, dense city.

2: how many connections to friends do you have? like alot of connnections, or just a few, close friends? i guess how "popular" you are

3: what kind of relationship are you interested in? Adventurous? fun? romantic?

4: hobbies, and past times. let's hear the key ones since it would seem we're timestrapped.

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1) Suburbs.

2) A few, close friends. Not too popular because I moreso don't know anyone. Always too busy working.

3) Hmm... Any could work. I'm a romanticist, an adventurer with dreams, and I certainly love fun. And there's no reason they can't intertwine.

4) Hoo boy, this one's a tough one...

-Video Games

-Guitar (still learning)

-Acting (well, I WANT to act. Have yet to try it due to time constraints)

-Drawing (I find myself easily discouraged and impatient)

-Writing (see explanation for drawing)

That's all off the top of my head. I'll add more when I think of it.

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The real problem with finding a woman who is into MLP, gaming, and geekly activities, is the same one you're trying to overcome in yourself. We don't usually hang out a bars or other 'scenes' much. We're usually gaming at home, gaming with friends, or doing some other activity, likely alone.

So gaming / MLP meet ups might be your best chance. But, competition will be harsh, since the ratio of men to women in geekly hobbies is still nowhere near 1.

And while I can only speak for myself, trying to "get" a girl is a great way to strike out. Neediness is not attractive. Trying to get us into a relationship before you get to know us at all is another good way to strike out. Becoming friends first gives you the best chance of a successful relationship.

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Well, yeah. That much is obvious. I wouldn't go up and be all "HEY, LET'S DATE." That'd... be disastrous.

I'm glad it's obvious to you. It's not obvious to everypony. Trust me. :p

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sounds like you got your head in the mindset to make competent decisions. can't tell ya how many people AREN'T >_<

alright, so here's whatcha can do~

Stick to routines, like go to starbuck's every day or something, whatever tickles your titties.

When you get fast food, eat in.

Always be nice and generous, ( i shouldn't even have to say it, but here it is)

be a bit more emphasizing on hobbies. hell, intertwine them, and do cool things like My little pony guitar stuff.

For some reason, (i know, terrible stereotypes) women seem to like it when you're not afraid to fail. i'm not saying be stupid, i know alot of stupid people that do stupid things to impress women, but don't be scared.

Anybody that wants a knight in shining armor would have a better chance panning for gold in an outhouse.

women don't come to you. be creative, and always watch and take everything in. EVERYTHING.

do cool little things that make you unique.

No offense, but there are millions of videogaming guitarists out there, but only one that likes to go to chuck-e-cheezes cuz it's fun.

I can help ya with romance and ideas on how to ask people out when you feel comfortable that will almost guarantee a YESYESYESYESYES!!!!!

nobody smiles anymore, so keep that smile up!

this is In my mindset with what you've told me the best way that you're going to be able to lure people in.

they are just basic rues that you have to follow, and everyone messes up and stuff, and its gonna be who can keep everything up the longest.

If you've ever seen south park, there was an episode where michael jackson adopted a kid and gave him pretty much nothing but kiddy rides and cotton candy, but never really CARED for him. a companion is there for people.

on a final note, one thing that scored me major bonus points was going over to my GF's house with a cup of good chicken noodle soup when she was sick.

it's not the little things, or the big things, it's everything.

and don't stretch your personality too much just to get a girl. it's fine if you stress a little, but the more you change, the more uncomfortable your relationship is going to be.

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want more in-depth guide like tell ya what to go up and order at starbuck's and what EXACTLY to do?

by all means, i can do it, but you said you had 30 minutes, so it's up to you.

also, it's great that you admit that you need help with this. arrogance does not cloud your mind, young padowan.

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Hmm... Make public places a routine, huh? Well, I'll be busy most of the weekend, so let's see what next week will hold. In any case, if y'have any more ideas, I'd be mighty grateful.

EDIT: And yeah, it's sleepin' time. Until tomorrow. I'll probably be back here at... 5:15, 5:30 PM (EST).

Edited by Nack289

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NO DATING SITES

terrible terrible ideas, and it just screams "desperate"

PEOPLE LOVE BRONIES

well, people love people, but bronies creates a gaping window of sensetivity that hasn't been tapped UNTILL NOW.

there are multiple ways of defending yourself.

1: muscle: nobody wants to fight a muscular man (works, but for defense, not relationships)

2: void oneself from those who would harm you: can't get in a relationship if you don't know anybody or even talk

3: Create a veil of kindness that is unquestioned and is maintained not by you but everyone who encircles you: DINGDINGDING this method is without a doubt the most effective of socially defending oneself that i can think of, and have taken it onto practice ever since i became a brony. the concept is others defend you. think about fluttershy, and how people frowned on gilda when she yelled at fluttershy. that's what you're aiming for.

now why am i talking about how to defend yourself in social status?

because 100% of relations is what other people think about you. other people's opinions will undoubtebly effect you untill your 6 feet under and then some. Be like fluttershy and pinkie pie, and you'll be picked off of the bushes quicker than $1 flip flops at old navy.

right now, i'm going in-depth to the personality your'e aiming for, not actual precise practices in public, but actual standard practice.

IF SHE'S A WHORE, SHE'S A WHORE. DUMP HER AND WALK AWAY.

Just like fishing, you gotta put in your time, and there's no guarantee that you'll catch anything.

next step is what you can do to get into a relationship once your status is established in society.

one last question for tonight: do you live in an apartment complex, a condo, a full fledged house, or what?

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Well, yeah. That much is obvious. I wouldn't go up and be all "HEY, LET'S DATE." That'd... be disastrous.

I'm glad it's obvious to you. It's not obvious to everypony. Trust me. :p

It's easy to say that now. I know I've always said that.

But when the time comes, hormones have this nasty habit of throwing self-restraint out the window. I speak from personal experience. You may not blatantly say "HEY, LET'S DATE" but you could effectively do the same with body language and mannerisms.

For example, if you happen to meet a girl that you're friends with but she knows you're interested in a relationship, DON'T be needy about her attention. And don't act like your world revolves around her; I say that because, honestly it will feel that way. Acting on those emotions is counter-productive though. Treat her like you a would a good friend.

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Sorry but i facepalmed when i saw this topic. I didn't know people were THIS DESPERATE for a girlfriend. Let me give you my personal advice and opinon.

YOU DON'T NEED A GIRLFRIEND THAT HAS THE SAME INTERESTS AS YOU!! There, i said it. Everyone in this world has a mate that doesn't even share their likes but guess what, they still love each other. I can guarantee your mother and father like certain things the other doesn't like, including your friends that have a mate. Everyone out there that's single and wants someone to commit to them doesn't have to like what you like, it makes you seem like you only want one to share the same interests as you do and not for who they really are. I currently have a thing with a guy at the moment and he has a thing for me (Real life i'm talkin' about) and guess what, he doesn't like My Little Pony while i like it. Why? Because it's girly to him and yes, he gave it a chance and watched it and still dislikes it. He knows i like ponies but does he hate me for it? No, he even sometimes calls me Pinkie Pie because i relate to Pinkie so much. See? That's one thing we both don't have in common, he dislikes MLP while i like it. We still love each other so there's no problem. The way that you're coming off in this topic makes you seem desperate for one because everyone has one and you NEED ONE in your life right now, no offense. Not having a girlfriend in your life isn't gonna kill you.

If you want to get one so bad, start at the bottom and chat with one at your job. Chat with the customers you get. If you have friends in real life that knows chicks, talk to them. Even if you chat with a chick and they don't like what you like, keep talking to them. Maybe someday they'll be your soulmate. You don't need a girlfriend that has to like MLP, TF2 and Dr. Who. Trust me.

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Yeah, I see what your saying. It's just difficult for me to connect with others. That's sorta why I'm trying to branch out more with my hobbies. It's tough for me, and I have my own issues, mentally speaking. I have a tough time paying attention to things, but can get hyper-focused on what I physically do (work, games, music, et cetera). That's not very good when it comes to socializing. And considering I'm introverted and a bit shy... Well, let's leave it at that.

Anyway, in regards to my job... It's not a customer-based job when it comes to the department I work in. I see no customers, let alone girls at all in my job. I do warehouse work. Sorta why I'm trying very hard to get back into college. One, to get a better handle and understanding on my life, and two, to connect with more people my age. Not that I can't do that now, but it's just I have very little time with my job, and whatever free time I get I spend practicing guitar, reading, playing video games, or being with the few friends I already know. As I said, I'm introverted. Always was...

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I'd reccomend joining some sort of group. A real-life group, not an internet one. During my time in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronisms), I learned to come out of my shell, and also learned how women really want to be treated, since half of them were women.

Find a group with women, not some all-guy nerd gamer group (no offence to them, but it will not help your particular plight). Don't expect to date any of said women in this group. Do get to know them as a friend, so you can be more comfortable around women in general.

Remember these things:

1) Any good relationship is built on a good friendship. Be a good friend.

2) The more you want to ship, the less likely you will. They can smell desperation from miles away. Inversely, if you appear barely interested, you will get noticed by them. I get looks all the time from passers-by, and I am by no means attractive.(this is not me stroking my ego, my roommate points them out to me every time) What I am is confident and spoken for. If you can't be spoken for, at least be confident. In fact, confidence is probly the most important thing.

3) I forget what I was going to say. Anyway, Get out there and make it look good!

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Oh, and another thing. Don't be romantic, under any circumstances. Instead, be thoughtful. Save the romance for after you're dating said girl.

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Yeah, I see what your saying. It's just difficult for me to connect with others. That's sorta why I'm trying to branch out more with my hobbies. It's tough for me, and I have my own issues, mentally speaking. I have a tough time paying attention to things, but can get hyper-focused on what I physically do (work, games, music, et cetera). That's not very good when it comes to socializing. And considering I'm introverted and a bit shy... Well, let's leave it at that.

Anyway, in regards to my job... It's not a customer-based job when it comes to the department I work in. I see no customers, let alone girls at all in my job. I do warehouse work. Sorta why I'm trying very hard to get back into college. One, to get a better handle and understanding on my life, and two, to connect with more people my age. Not that I can't do that now, but it's just I have very little time with my job, and whatever free time I get I spend practicing guitar, reading, playing video games, or being with the few friends I already know. As I said, I'm introverted. Always was...

Oh, i thought your job was more of retail but i see where you're coming from.

I was like you a couple years ago when i was 14. I didn't seem to connect to many people and i always kept things to myself which is why i didn't have a lot of online and real life friends at the time. But as i got older, my likes and dislikes expanded, grew out of a couple things (Grew out of being a Sonic fangirl) and i got to speak to more people that liked things that i liked as well as everyday things in life. I remember in middle school (This was me being a very shy and quiet person), i made my first friend cause he loved Sonic and so did i as well as video games and cartoon network. We both got along great. The same went with me and my lubb. We both started out talking about Youtube Poop and then video games and things took it's turn as we got to know each other for 5 years as well as meeting each other in person for the first time a couple years ago.

It takes a lot of time to find that special someone. Just be careful who you're with cause some girls tend to hide secrets and you want a girl who's very open to her thoughts towards you and not very secretive and keeps things to herself. :clopclop:

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