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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tortured_artist:

 

 

Tortured artist

 

The tortured artist is a stock character and real-life stereotype who is in constant torment due to frustrations with art and other people. Tortured artists feel alienated and misunderstood due to the perceived ignorance or neglect of others who do not understand them and the things they feel are important. They sometimes smoke, experience sexual frustration and recurring heartbreak, and generally appear overwhelmed by their own emotions and inner conflicts. They are often mocked in popular culture for "thinking too much", being quixotic, or coming across as pretentiously adverse to happiness and fun. Other stereotypical traits vary between extremes – from being narcissistic and extroverted to being self-loathing and introverted. Tortured artists are often self-destructive in behavior and are generally associated with mental health issues such as substance abuse, personality disorders, or depression. Tortured artists are often prone to self-mutilation and have a high rate of suicide.

 

Oh hey, that sounds like me.

heh me too. though so far i've managed to avoid the self mutilation nad suicide part... barely but i've managed

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I identify with a lot of the thought processes or insecurities I see posted here. It's weird seeing some of this stuff being said by other people.

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Please... do not hurt yourself... I know there isn't anything I can do to help it seems, but please...

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Something's been bothering me a little bit lately, figured I might as well rant on about it. 

 

It's just sometimes I just really don't feel like I belong, and I got that feeling again last night when I was talking to my friend and we were talking about other people we knew at school. Apparently there's a good number of people at school who I don't know at all who outright hate me just because I'm different and "not normal". It scares me because now I know that there are groups of people who are against me. But it also hurts me a lot to be judged solely on my looks when I know I have good character and good morals, but socially it seems that a lot of people don't look at those characteristics. 

 

And I don't feel that just in school, but I also feel that way at home because I have to hide who I am or risk getting condemned by the family, and on occasion I even feel that way on here. I may be just paranoid but even as accepting as some of you guys are I still feel that sometimes I get to some people because of my own differences. 

 

Sometimes I just really don't feel like I'm accepted, and it hurts a lot more than you might think. People take it for granted that they can be themselves without risking to be socially outcasted. The only time I feel accepted is when I'm at GSA meetings or hanging with the few friends who accept my differences and I don't really see them often enough.

 

 

I'm just wondering if any of you guys ever felt the same, and if you did, how you've dealt with it. 

Let me know if you find a solution, because I sure haven't

it oftentimes gets me depressed, and that's one thing that I wanted to post about.

Oftentimes whenever something happens between me and a friend, I dwell on it for the entire day and usually come to the conclusion that most of the people that I hang out with don't like me and would rather just see me disappear. That gets me really depressed, and it's not just in real life. it's on the forums too. Oftentimes I feel rejected and alone. I know I have friends here, but for some reason it all seems like some kind of lie and nobody really likes me. I've thought I might have some form or another of paranoia for quite some time, but that's only half of it. Paranoia I can deal with, but when it always leads to depression, I never end up doing anything. Sometimes I'll just lie down and cry, look at some feel threads, or just not even do anything. It's been getting worse and worse as days go by, and I'm not exactly sure what I can even do to cope with it now. I'm far from suicidal when I get depressed like that, but it's no fun for anyone around me or myself for that matter. 

 

What Cin said. Find someone you can talk to.

I still wub woo calzoon. :<

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Something's been bothering me a little bit lately, figured I might as well rant on about it. 

 

It's just sometimes I just really don't feel like I belong, and I got that feeling again last night when I was talking to my friend and we were talking about other people we knew at school. Apparently there's a good number of people at school who I don't know at all who outright hate me just because I'm different and "not normal". It scares me because now I know that there are groups of people who are against me. But it also hurts me a lot to be judged solely on my looks when I know I have good character and good morals, but socially it seems that a lot of people don't look at those characteristics. 

 

And I don't feel that just in school, but I also feel that way at home because I have to hide who I am or risk getting condemned by the family, and on occasion I even feel that way on here. I may be just paranoid but even as accepting as some of you guys are I still feel that sometimes I get to some people because of my own differences. 

 

Sometimes I just really don't feel like I'm accepted, and it hurts a lot more than you might think. People take it for granted that they can be themselves without risking to be socially outcasted. The only time I feel accepted is when I'm at GSA meetings or hanging with the few friends who accept my differences and I don't really see them often enough.

 

 

I'm just wondering if any of you guys ever felt the same, and if you did, how you've dealt with it. 

Let me know if you find a solution, because I sure haven't

it oftentimes gets me depressed, and that's one thing that I wanted to post about.

Oftentimes whenever something happens between me and a friend, I dwell on it for the entire day and usually come to the conclusion that most of the people that I hang out with don't like me and would rather just see me disappear. That gets me really depressed, and it's not just in real life. it's on the forums too. Oftentimes I feel rejected and alone. I know I have friends here, but for some reason it all seems like some kind of lie and nobody really likes me. I've thought I might have some form or another of paranoia for quite some time, but that's only half of it. Paranoia I can deal with, but when it always leads to depression, I never end up doing anything. Sometimes I'll just lie down and cry, look at some feel threads, or just not even do anything. It's been getting worse and worse as days go by, and I'm not exactly sure what I can even do to cope with it now. I'm far from suicidal when I get depressed like that, but it's no fun for anyone around me or myself for that matter. 

 

Y'know, Cal, if you're feeling bummed or alienated, you can always send me a message on Steam. I know how much it sucks to feel as if you have nobody who wants to hang out with, or talk to, in fact I know that feeling better than most realize. I may not always have time to chat, and if I don't I will certainly let you know (granted I'm at home and not at school.) So always feel free to message me. That goes for everyone else I have as well. If I don't have you, you can always send a request to me if you want.

Here's my steam ID: http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198065097548

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Today is now 8th time I've lost someone dearest to my heart this month. I just need some help and advice coping with the pain right now, due to my most recent breakup, followed by the loss of friends, family then kicks in the pain my hypocritical christian dad has to offer with words, saying this is all happening because i'm a brony and don't believe in god. As soon as this happens, i now think back to all the family, friends, girlfriends and other well-known comrades that I've lost in this journey we call Life. As of now, i really can't hold all this pain inside me. I tend to fear at times if i'll become something not so human. Something that will only bring fear upon the public. I understand death isn't the way out of this pain, but is there anyone who at least has some words of wisdom? please?

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Today

is now 8th time I've lost someone dearest to my heart this month. I

just need some help and advice coping with the pain right now, due to my

most recent breakup, followed by the loss of friends, family then kicks

in the pain my hypocritical christian dad has to offer with words,

saying this is all happening because i'm a brony and don't believe in

god. As soon as this happens, i now think back to all the family,

friends, girlfriends and other well-known comrades that I've lost in

this journey we call Life. As of now, i really can't hold all this pain

inside me. I tend to fear at times if i'll become something not so

human. Something that will only bring fear upon the public. I understand

death isn't the way out of this pain, but is there anyone who at least

has some words of wisdom? please?

 

Yikes man, that's though... well first off you should really see if you can find a way out of your house and to manage to start your own life somewhere away from your family. Might not bring back those you lost, but might help you distance from the pain of being in that place with so many bad memories etc. If you can't move, try and get out more, see if you can get some sort of hobby or even go see a psychologist if you think your mind is in a very bad shape due to all this.

 

Hope you feel better soon. *hugs*

Edited by Nikki Lyra

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Look, man. We've all lost important people in our lives, and let's be honest, it hurts like a bitch, but we can't simply give in to that pain. The best advice I can give you now is to ignore your father's religious lectures and all that. I may not be the right person to say this at all, but if you believe in God, that's more than enough. Your father doesn't have the right to question that, and if I were you, I would just push his Christian fanaticism out of my life. 

 

And mark my words, bloke, if some of those people left you because of what or who you are, the feelings of amity and loyalty inside your heart were definitely not mutual.

 

Oh, and by the by, take Nikki's advice into consideration. Therapy and a somewhat more outgoing lifestyle might as well do the trick.

 

Anything you may want to talk about, I am all eyes and ears.

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Today is now 8th time I've lost someone dearest to my heart this month. I just need some help and advice coping with the pain right now, due to my most recent breakup, followed by the loss of friends, family then kicks in the pain my hypocritical christian dad has to offer with words, saying this is all happening because i'm a brony and don't believe in god. As soon as this happens, i now think back to all the family, friends, girlfriends and other well-known comrades that I've lost in this journey we call Life. As of now, i really can't hold all this pain inside me. I tend to fear at times if i'll become something not so human. Something that will only bring fear upon the public. I understand death isn't the way out of this pain, but is there anyone who at least has some words of wisdom? please?

 

First and foremost, I want to say that my response is based on the assumption that when you say "lost", you mean in a social/romantic capacity and not in the capacity of lost as in death. If you mean the latter of the two, then I apologize for the misunderstanding...

 

With that said, I will say that a condition of youth is a lack of foresight. I understand that at this point in your life, the loss of these people seems downright intolerable (and believe me, as Kochi has said, we have all experienced that kind of loss at one time or another), but understand in the grand overarching scheme that is your life, these people will play a very small and insignificant role. As we grow older, there is the realization that inevitably you will lose touch with those closest to you at one point or another, be it girlfriends (which honestly, while young, rarely developes into anything more serious than dating), friends, or even family. To count on one hand, I can tell you the number of friends that I am still in contact with from my days in school (actually, just 1 to be precise, and even so, we're just "facebook friends" who occasionally comment on each other's profiles). As for family, when family members don't understand or support your decisions in life, they too will drift away (and really, it's probably for the better to be without a constant flow of negativity in your life). To date, the only family I am in contact with is my grandparents who raised me, I haven't spoken to my dad since last year and my mother since 2010. The best thing you can do is to seek support from others so that you can vent these feelings, which can actually do wonders for a person (aside from professional help, an understanding ear can be just as beneficial).

 

Also, as Kochi said, ignore your father's ignorance. If your suffering were in any way directly related to being either a brony or by not believing in God, then one would assume that non-bronies Christians should have no problems at all in life (just the thought is laughable). Be who you are, love what you love, and don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise... After all, it is your life to live...

 

If you need someone to talk to, I should be around from time to time, best chances of catching me on steam though (same name)...

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I feel like my life is headed nowhere... My parents keep reminding me that I'm going to fail my high school classes and that I'm not going to be able to survive in college on the off chance that I do pass, and because I know that there are no jobs I want to do that don't require a college education, I feel like there is really no point in doing anything at all... The only reason I'm even alive to still type this is because I continue to live for two special people that visit this forum, and even now I'm not sure if this sense of impending dread is worth living for... I want to just be able to stay somewhere and not have to worry about anything, but now that I'm 18 and officially an adult, I realize that things are going to cost so much money, which I don't even have, and likely never will because I have a snowballs chance in hell of getting a job. I can't motivate myself to do my schoolwork, all I want to do is sit around and rot on the couch. With the state the world is in currently and will likely be in for at least another decade now, there seems to be no point in trying when all I'll meet is failure, I see no point in trying when there is a measly .1% chance of me succeeding, and I don't care what other people say, I know I'm doomed to fail, I just want to escape it all, forever. While yes, there may be some nice points in my life, the bad points will greatly outnumber and outweigh the good ones. Why suffer when the fruits of your labor will turn out to die in a day or two anyways? I'll probably be searching for nice places to spend the remaining money I have on so I can go there to die...

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Ye know, man, I have faith in you. Ye'll be successful in life, and I know it to be true. However, with that attitude, ye won't make it too far.

 

My mother always said I was going to fail high school as well, claiming that I had to study more and I'm irresponsible and all that, but look at me now. I graduated and just made it into university.

 

Chances are your parents tell you that only for you to prove them wrong. And that's exactly what you have to do. Work harder and ye'll surely get out of high school with a diploma in your hands.

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I honestly feel like, over the past few months, my battle against tendinitis has gone nowhere, and instead got worse no matter how many times we tried to treat it.

 

It's spread from my elbow to my forearm and now it's spreading into my wrist, making it hard to type. Writing and drawing are downright impossible. Gaming has become difficult (except Kerbal Space Program as all the important controls are on the left side of my keyboard), the Wii is impossible for me to use and my precision with the mouse has gone down tremendously. Everything feels like it weighs a million pounds, even something light like a feather. I spend more time trying to find a comfortable position for my arm than doing anything productive. We've tried painkillers, cortisone, acupuncture, massaging, heating pads - none of it worked for more than a few hours, painkillers in particular not working at all. Acupuncture made the pain worse for a month after the first treatment. Playing with computer hardware is so tedious and painful it's not worth it anymore. It's taking too long to see my doctor again.

 

Basically, I'm screwed out of luck, and I don't know how willing my doctor would be to perform surgery on me, even at this point. I seriously hope he does go for surgery, but there's always the chance he'd try cortisone again...

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I think i'm starting to drift into depression

Ever since my last issue with my friends disowning me (who, by the way, i haven't spoken to since), my self respect has been declining. Everything wrong with my life has just become so clear and amplified; i could literally be here for the next hour listing all the things that are wrong with me. The worst part is, i am almost completely alone in this.

Just earlier today, i was sat in the middle of the lunch hall by myself at a 6-seat table, completely by myself. No one was willing to sit with me, and no one wanted me sitting at their tables. It's not surprising though; for 4 years, i have been the laughing stock of the entire school. There's not a single kid who doesn't chuckle at the mention of my name. I only have 3 real friends, and they're always lashing out at each other and acting like children

I always used to view the students around me as idiots, when really they're just teenagers enjoying their lives; something i have failed to do for the most part.

 

I always thought i was a great, indestructible genius, when really i'm just a stupid little boy who's frightened by the world around him... The only time i ever laugh or smile anymore is when i'm browsing the internet or on this forum, and really, that's just sad...

 

I hate everyone, and i hate myself

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Sigh, do you guys ever feel that there's one person that you can never seem to get really well with? There's always one at the moment. You might not care about what others think of you, but then there's that one person. That one person you truly do want to please, but you just really don't connect. Even when they were one of your closest friends. This is one problem I have yet to solve. And it's one of the things that eat me apart. Maybe I'm just sensitive, but I feel like me and that friend are drifting away from each other. Should I take an interest in what they do? Even when I do that I feel like it doesn't do anything.

 

There's also this friend I feel guilty talking to anymore because I never made them a picture they asked for. Sure I made something for them later on, but it wasn't that great. That's another person I'm drifting away from.

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Outch, dat feel. Not sure what to say really other than I hope things works out somehow.

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Unfortunately, I'm a victim of that situation as well.  There's always that one person that you want to prove something to, whether it be showing a crush that you're cool or a bully that you aren't a freak.  I understand that, and, while I may not have a complete solution I do have some tips that have at least worked for me:

 

Basically, just be yourself.  If you are already friends, then tell them in a nonchalant way that you respect their judgement; people usually get a nice feeling when they are told that their opinion matters to someone.

 

If you have to change, then change in a way that still reflects who you are.  It's hard to stay yourself while trying to change like this, but remember to always be yourself, and just show the side of you that seems to suit the situation best.

 

Hope this all get's better, Cha.  You're awesome!

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Outch, dat feel. Not sure what to say really other than I hope things works out somehow.

 

Unfortunately, I'm a victim of that situation as well.  There's always that one person that you want to prove something to, whether it be showing a crush that you're cool or a bully that you aren't a freak.  I understand that, and, while I may not have a complete solution I do have some tips that have at least worked for me:

 

Basically, just be yourself.  If you are already friends, then tell them in a nonchalant way that you respect their judgement; people usually get a nice feeling when they are told that their opinion matters to someone.

 

If you have to change, then change in a way that still reflects who you are.  It's hard to stay yourself while trying to change like this, but remember to always be yourself, and just show the side of you that seems to suit the situation best.

 

Hope this all get's better, Cha.  You're awesome!

Thank you both for your kind words and I'll try to stay true to myself.

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I think i'm starting to drift into depression

Ever since my last issue with my friends disowning me (who, by the way, i haven't spoken to since), my self respect has been declining. Everything wrong with my life has just become so clear and amplified; i could literally be here for the next hour listing all the things that are wrong with me. The worst part is, i am almost completely alone in this.

Just earlier today, i was sat in the middle of the lunch hall by myself at a 6-seat table, completely by myself. No one was willing to sit with me, and no one wanted me sitting at their tables. It's not surprising though; for 4 years, i have been the laughing stock of the entire school. There's not a single kid who doesn't chuckle at the mention of my name. I only have 3 real friends, and they're always lashing out at each other and acting like children

I always used to view the students around me as idiots, when really they're just teenagers enjoying their lives; something i have failed to do for the most part.

 

I always thought i was a great, indestructible genius, when really i'm just a stupid little boy who's frightened by the world around him... The only time i ever laugh or smile anymore is when i'm browsing the internet or on this forum, and really, that's just sad...

 

I hate everyone, and i hate myself

The only person who can change yourself is yourself. If you truly do hate who you are, then choose to be someone else. Obviously you take displeasure in being around other people in high school who do the typical things high schoolers do like hang out and text other friends etc... But do whatever makes you happy. If sitting on this forum and talking with people makes you happy, then do it. I do the same, really. I sit in my room, play videogames and talk with friends on the internet. That's what makes me happy. People try and get me to do different things, but none of them make me happy. Do whatever makes you happy, but don't be afraid to try something new. Doing the same thing over and over and over again will indefinitely lead to depression, which is sort of the rut I am in right now.

 

Sigh, do you guys ever feel that there's one person that you can never seem to get really well with? There's always one at the moment. You might not care about what others think of you, but then there's that one person. That one person you truly do want to please, but you just really don't connect. Even when they were one of your closest friends. This is one problem I have yet to solve. And it's one of the things that eat me apart. Maybe I'm just sensitive, but I feel like me and that friend are drifting away from each other. Should I take an interest in what they do? Even when I do that I feel like it doesn't do anything.

 

There's also this friend I feel guilty talking to anymore because I never made them a picture they asked for. Sure I made something for them later on, but it wasn't that great. That's another person I'm drifting away from.

I get that feeling a lot too... The feeling that no matter what you do, someone will always hate you no matter what you do to try and make them happy. I have deluded myself in the past to try and help myself to help those people, but it never ends well. If you do it, and you do decide to change yourself for one person, you won't like the results. it will be forced, and it will be bad for both of you, and in the end those malicious memories that he/she has of you will still be there. It's sad to think, but it's the truth. 

And Cha, I love everything about you. You're a great person and there isn't a reason in this world why anyone shouldn't like you. Don't change for just one person when the only  single person worth changing for is yourself.

Anyways, I too came here to talk about my problems. Like I said earlier in this thread, depression keeps striking me more frequently. it used to be only once a month or so, and now it strikes me almost every other day. Today I will be happy, tomorrow I will be sad. it has nothing to do with what happens in the mornings or how my days go. But it's just hard. Hard that I don't know what to do to fight it. Every other day I spend at least an hour lying down in the fetal position crying about nothing in particular hugging a pillow. The only time I get up is when someone comes into my room for dinner, or I fall asleep. Friends and family ask me if there's anything I want to talk about or if there is anything that they can do, but there never is. And when I do talk to someone that asks about the depression, and I try to explain it, they don't understand. They want to help, but they don't know how. I don't know... That is probably what I will get from this post. I don't even know why I'm typing it.

I don't know how to help myself and I don't know how anyone can help me. I'm scared for the future and feel extremely alone. Now is one of those times that I just want to cry

 

 

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Sun, listen to me.

I don't claim to know exactly how you feel in your situation, or understand, but I have been depressed myself. Almost everyone have been depressed sometime in their life. I understand the feeling of hopelessness and just being sad with absolutely no hope of it ever ending.

 

But it will end. You won't have to feel like this forever, it WILL pass. You just have to beat it, and I understand that it seems hard, because it is hard. It's easy to just give up and say that it's impossible, that you can't escape your depression, but you CAN. If by now you are telling yourself that I don't understand what you mean at all or that I'm asking for something impossible, stop. I am not making things up, I am not lying. There are ways out of depression and I don't care how you do it, just try, with everything you have. Find things that make you happy, focus on them. Forget the things that make you sad, don't let them get you down.

 

 

No, you haven't tried, not hard enough.

You set yourself in this state, YOU can get yourself out of it.

But this doesn't mean you are alone. You have friends, you have family. You have people that love you.

You say we cannot help you. You may truly feel that we cannot help you, can't understand you, but that will not stop me from trying. 

You are not alone. I wish I could be there in person to show you that. I care for you immensely and I would do anything to make you happy. Talk to me. No matter how big or small thing it is, I don't care what the price is, if it so just makes you one percent better, I'll do it.

 

It kills me to see you sad. It kills me to know how many people there are on here that are giving up hope. You can all make it out of whatever problems you are having. Some have lost relatives, some have had their hearts broken, and some are just not seeing any future for themselves. You all share pain and suffering, and no matter your reason it is all real and it is all serious. Dealing with these things are part of life, and you can all and will all survive it as long as you don't give up, and just hang in there. Things will get better.

 

 

Sun, I know you will just ignore me and say that it doesn't work, and there is not much I can do about getting you to realize that I'm not just making things up.

I just want you to listen, and try, just try, again and again, don't give up. It's going to go slow, especially in the beginning, but then it will get better.

 

I KNOW you can do it Sun. You are a strong, amazing person, and I believe in you even though you won't do that yourself.

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(here I am yet again, complaining about my life >_>)

I think I'll start with saying that I am still feeling depressed everyday, I want to just lay in bed all day and have no contact with the world outside my room and try to cry it all out. but I'm already nearly empty of tears to shear, even though I try to just get it out, nothing comes but silent sadness without tears....

I'm feeling a bit more depressed lately because my grandpa is ill. he has cancer and has had it since August last year, and he's getting worse and worse by the day, and I feel like I can't go visit him anymore... I know it's selfish of me, but I'm already having a lot of depression to deal with, an seeing him in his state only makes it worse for me.... I hate myself for being so selfish, but I just can't....

this also affects my school work. I can't focus shit at anything anymore, and for me to do school work is quite important right now, because I'm still sick, and if I don't get standing grades in some of the subjects, I'll have to repeat it in some sort of 6 month school with grown ups that doesn't have an education to get into highschool....

but I can't stop saying to myself that all this homework I'm doing, is just complete bullshit and a waste of time. even though I know perfectly well that it is very important to do, I feel that I should focus on doing other stuff instead (if that makes any sense).

and I think I'll end it here by saying one good thing: I don't want to kill myself / get killed / die anymore, because I don't want others to be sad because of me, I want others to smile smile smile. and that's why I try to hide my feelings for others most of the time, and just put on a fake smile instead for others to enjoy.....

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Hope you feel better soon man *hugs*

 

And well don't be too hard on yourself. I understand it must be hard to see your grandfather like that. If I where you I would be sure to at least visit him once though before it's to late, to say a goodbye and such. Not getting to say goodbye is terrible.

 

And hey, if you are sad don't be afraid to show it, though very happy to hear you are not thinking about death anymore.

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Mentally, I've been just having a real tough time lately. 

 

I feel that I'm getting depressed yet again. I really feel that I just can never be myself at home. I was shopping for shoes today and I found a really nice pair of purple sneakers, I tried them on and liked them and then realized that they were women's shoes. I had to put them back because of that because my parents want me to act and dress masculine. They also keep pestering that they want my hair cut really short like a guy's hair should be and it would hurt me quite a bit to cut off all this hair that I spent a long time growing out and grooming. Hell, I'm pretty sure my mom threw away my pony shirts because I haven't seen them at all for weeks. My parents kept getting mad at me for wearing them. Heck, nowadays my parents always keep a check on what clothes I buy, probably to make sure they're men's clothing. Sometimes I just think about myself and realize how much I feel that I get treated like a freak at home.

 

I just feel that I don't fit, that somehow I don't belong and it really hurts. What's scary though is that my bad thoughts are beginning to come back and I haven't had them for a good 2-3 years. I've thought about going to the steep cliff nearby to jump off or at least contemplate life. I think that I'd feel relaxed and really at peace to be on that edge, but to think that I'd probably kill myself is scaring me. 

 

 

I've been wanting to go to a therapist for a while, but I've simply been too weak to ask my parents. Same with coming out to my sister. I can't talk to my family about these things, I simply don't have the strength and will to even though I know for a fact that I need it. I've been lying to them for too long and I feel that it's too late and that my gay double life has taken over my family life.

 

It's just been driving me nuts, I really don't know. I feel weak and hopeless. I just want to be myself. 

 

 

I know I go on about the same shit a lot, but really self-expression and love are among the very most important things to me. To know that I really can't express that and truly appreciate it as any other teenager would just kills me on the inside. I feel like I'm just missing out on something really really important in my life. It all just gets me really depressed.

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Whatever you do, don't give up. Your parents, your family in general, the entire place you live; It's not like that every where. I imagine it's horrible when your parents don't accept you for who you are, but you can't let it get to you.

 

What you need is space. How old are you Darky? How soon do you think you might able to move out and be on your own. Because that's what you need more than anything else. Try and get a job. Save up, and deal with their bullshit in the meantime. They can't rule your life forever, and that is the hope you need to hold on to. For all the rough patches I've had to suffer, I can never get over the sense of freedom that comes with moving out of your parents home.

You'll be free to live your life as your choose. To wear what you like and stuff like that.

 

I know it's depressing now, but you've got your life ahead of you to be able to enjoy who you are. You just have to bide your time a bit, and move your life towards that time. Just keep in mind, you're always welcome to being who you are here among friends.

 

Not sure what to suggest about the hair though. That continues to be a frustration for me. I love my hair. It's freaking gorgeous and people are jealous of it. And I really like to grow it out. I want a decent length ponytail. But I'm forced to keep it cut because god forbid guys have long hair in a professional environment. Continues to frustrate me to no end. :/

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Whatever you do, don't give up. Your parents, your family in general, the entire place you live; It's not like that every where. I imagine it's horrible when your parents don't accept you for who you are, but you can't let it get to you.

 

What you need is space. How old are you Darky? How soon do you think you might able to move out and be on your own. Because that's what you need more than anything else. Try and get a job. Save up, and deal with their bullshit in the meantime. They can't rule your life forever, and that is the hope you need to hold on to. For all the rough patches I've had to suffer, I can never get over the sense of freedom that comes with moving out of your parents home.

You'll be free to live your life as your choose. To wear what you like and stuff like that.

 

I know it's depressing now, but you've got your life ahead of you to be able to enjoy who you are. You just have to bide your time a bit, and move your life towards that time. Just keep in mind, you're always welcome to being who you are here among friends.

 

Not sure what to suggest about the hair though. That continues to be a frustration for me. I love my hair. It's freaking gorgeous and people are jealous of it. And I really like to grow it out. I want a decent length ponytail. But I'm forced to keep it cut because god forbid guys have long hair in a professional environment. Continues to frustrate me to no end. :/

 

I understand it isn't like this everywhere, thankfully. I've been trying to go to more accepting places as often as I can, though sometimes it doesn't feel often enough. 

 

And at home I do have a lot of issues with space. I currently share a really tiny room with my brother and no one in my family really respects my desire for space and privacy. That alone drives me nuts as well especially considering that all of my friends have their own rooms where they have their own space and privacy to do as they please.

 

I'm currently 17, I'm supposed to move out to college in about 6-7 months. I know it isn't long but it feels so far away. 

 

And yeah I understand the whole thing with having long hair in a work environment. I currently don't have a job though. I'm not sure if I should even employ myself for the summer because I think I should take advantage of the time I have off and learn about things like art, music and other things that could lead me to a much more successful life than just burger flipping at McDonalds. However I'll still keep that in mind. (Though honestly I resent the fact that girls can have long hair and still be perceived as "professional" it's just so unfair IMO) 

 

But yeah, just being who I am here and talking to you guys every once and a while does help me out a little. If only all of you guys could just reach out and give me a hug, I could certainly use that. 

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