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I'm saying this at the beginning. this is going to be a long rant. and i am not going to make  a tl:dr. i'm not looking for advice. i'm not looking for support. i just need to get all this shit off my chest and down somewhere. so here i go

 

 

for the past month i have been slowly but surely becoming more depressed and irritable. there are a hell of a lot of reasons for this but let's be honest here, it all comes down to me. i am the source of all my problems in the long run. i may say it's my parents doing this, or my brother/sister doing that. but it all stems from me. my parents restrictions are to try and make me do things like go to bed on time. to allocate time to doing things other than games. and yet what do i do? i just find ways around restrictions and say fuck you to sleep and these other things. my sister honestly isn't even that annoying anymore. i just refuse to play with her because i don't want to communicate with her. since i know i'm just going to fly off the handle with how annoying she's been for her 14 years of life as a whole. my hate for my brother is something i have never gotten over. my hate stems from something private so don't ask. my dad used to beat me with wooden spoons, and douse my tounge in hotsauce or wash my mouth out with soap. abuse me. he stopped, but i never forgave him, and have been rebelious of him since. and my mother always was military strict on me. and still is. even with those thing. i can never forgive and let go. say it is the past and move on. because i refuse to let the past go. i didn't try to shape myself. i let my past mold me. bullied as a kid? always blamed my lack of self-esteem on that. didn't even matter when people complimented me. i thought they were lying to be nice. hell it took me a long time to realize you all were being sincere when you all kept saying things about my voice. it still boggles my mind that some of you like me so much. because i let the bullies shape my self-esteem to be how it is now. i always put on that fake ego. and and i love to hear and read people compliment my voice, because it makes me feel good about myself.

 

that's what it all boils down to. my own self happiness. many of the choices i make in a day are for my own self happiness right in the here and now. i never think about the happiness of the future of myself unless i'm forced to by my parents. my parents are trying to support me as much as they can. it took me 5 months to get my learners permit for driving a car. 5 months of their support before i finally did it. i have had an opportunity sitting in front of me to make my desire to be a voice actor a reality. yet i have done nearly fucking NOTHING to make any of it a reality, even with my parents support behind the matter. hell, it was my parents who made the opportunity present in my face. all this support, and i treat them like absolute shit for it. even though all they want for me is success in life, to get up on my own two feet and face the world by myself, i push their support away, i get angry because they're supporting me on something i need to face, something i'm afraid of facing. i treat them like shit for trying to help me.

I can see it... i can see i have a talent in singing. i can see i have a talent in voice acting. i can see that i don't want to offend people, that i try my hardest to make people happy. that i'm not a bad person as a whole. but when these realities come to light, i see the short comings that is my personal shadow.(make fun of this part and i swear to god) I know what i have to do. i have to confront my shadow and accept that it is reality. after that, i need to get over my fears, face life head on and get off my lazy god damn ass and face the only life i have. just the thought of that though... it makes me more scared than anything else..I'm afraid of rejection, I'm afraid of failure. i'm afraid of facing reality. worst of all, i'm afraid of what will happen if i don't face these fears. (worst case = homeless)  with me coming to a realization of all of this, i kept slipping more and more into a depressed state. and kept escaping into video games and chatting with everyone. pretending it wasn't reality for me, but i can't really deny it anymore.. i can only distract myself from it being my reality. my life needs to change. i need to get off my ass and get out on my own two feet. even if i need my parents help to take as many steps as iit takes before i can go on my own. 

 

i say all of that. because i needed to. just because i said it, doesn't mean i'm going to do it.. but now that its here. i think i have an incentive to do so. because people will expect me to do so. that's the reason i posted this here. not for people to offer assistance in some way, but for people to be aware of what is currently the reality of my life right now. (at least how i see it) i guess in a way, i'm asking for your assistance anyway by expecting me to change this shit. that will want to make me not let you down because of how i am. /rant/

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I feel like people hate me on this forum. I try to be like the others but nobody pays attention to me. Maybe it's just me but I still wanted to say this...

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I feel like people hate me on this forum. I try to be like the others but nobody pays attention to me. Maybe it's just me but I still wanted to say this...

i am giving you a like so that you know there's at least one person that loves you on here

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Ever get that feeling where you want to give the world the finger and close off all your social networking accounts and regress to a state of complete hermit-ism and misanthropy?

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I feel like I'm saying this everytime I'm about to post something in here. and that is that I feel like I'm going insane.

I'm stressing over shit I'm not suppose to, and I just have bad bad thoughts.

I'm suppose to go to school again this next school year, but I have doubts that I will be able to attend. it just feels so so wrong, and I get pissed and sad by the thought of going to school. I can't seem to find anything positive that would benefit me about me going to school again.... it's weird and hard to explain, but I don't want to continue school as long as I don't know what I want with my life. because if I do go to school, an find out that I wanted something else, then all that time would've been to waste...

I'm thinking of maybe trying to speak with my parents about getting help from a psychologist or something like that, because I feel like I need it... I'm just so damn frustrated at myself about how I'm thinking, and my decisions... because I can't fucking decide what to think, and what I want. I'm just tired of all this bullshit, I want life to be easier, but of course that's what everyone wants, and life will never be easy... why do I need to confuse myself, what the hell is the meaning of my life. I'm not doing shit to benefit anyone, and yet here I am. being useless, confused, depressed and just fucked...

I use my spare time nowadays to just make myself forget, and get distracted. I don't do anything else.

what the fuck am I going to do with this worthless life I have when I can't get anything from it...

thank you if you read through all that venting. have a nice day.

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I'm thinking of maybe trying to speak with my parents about getting help from a psychologist or something like that, because I feel like I need it... I'm just so damn frustrated at myself about how I'm thinking, and my decisions... 

 

        There's a lot of negative stigma about seeing a psychiatrist but I can speak from much personal experience and say don't believe or worry about any of it. I've been seeing a psychiatrist steadily for over a year now regarding my experiences in Afghanistan and my past before the military (long story short it wasn't pretty). You don't have to feel embarrassed or ashamed about asking for help. I sought help because I, like you, felt like I needed it. I was in a very dark place and just overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. There are a lot of good doctors out there but you may have to look around a bit. If all they want to do is prescribe you some happy pills or something and then talk to you in a week, leave and don't pay anything. If they immediately try to prescribe you stuff they are not doing their job and you need to look elsewhere. To this day I have not been prescribed a thing and I have instead found productive ways that work for ME (not cookie cutter solutions) of managing stress, depression, anxiety, and anger. We talked a lot, I pretty much told my entire life's story by choice, over a period of time and we analyzed everything, worked through tough spots, and changed my perception of my experiences entirely. Many people don't truly realize that attitude can make a difference.

        I realize that my experiences are likely much different than yours but that doesn't mean you can't find similar solutions. I stand with you and I think many others here would too if you decide to seek counseling of some sort. If you have trouble expressing your thoughts to your parents or just don't know where to start I'm more than happy to help you if I can in any way. Heck I'm sure we could even write a script for you lol. I can share some advice though that has really helped me out. Surround yourself with as many GOOD friends as you can. They're hard to find nowadays but they're out there in the least likely places. One of my biggest stress relievers and something that helps when I'm feeling depressed is that I know I have a few good people whom I can rely on no matter the circumstance. I can call someone at any time of night if I need to talk, call someone if my car breaks down or I'm stuck somewhere, or call someone just to hang out and blow off some steam. I know it's a hard thing to do for a lot of people and good friends are hard to come by. I will tell you though that they are usually in similar situations as yourself or they've been there before. Surrounding myself with a network of good friends has helped me immensely from where I used to be.

        Also, going back to what you said about not knowing what you want to do with your life, what are some things you enjoy most? Sorry for rambling but I've been in some pretty rough spots in the past and stressed to the bone so I can relate. Hopefully I've been a little help.

 

         Oh, and you are welcome to PM me any time if you want to talk or I can help somehow.

Edited by RD622

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Hey guys, it's been a while since i've had to post in here, i guess i've just been feeling pretty good about life up until this point. I have several problems i wish to address, so... yeah.

 

Firstly - and perhaps most seriously - i've recently joined a duo band; me being the drummer/percussionist. Sounds good, right? Wrong. At first, i thought that being in an actual band could be a great thing for me, but now that i've experienced it (just yesterday, we were performing on the street) i really don't enjoy it. Working for the band is starting to take up a lot of time and resources for me. Originally, i only intended to join it as a little side hobby, instead, it's way more serious than i wished for it to be. Waking up early in the morning, and doing nothing but hitting bins with sticks for 7-9 hours on end whilst making next to no profit is not what i wanted to get out of this. And that's another issue; my full musical talent isn't being shown. I have 6 years of experience, multiple GCSE's in musical studies, and even a certificate from Trinity Guildhall conforming that i am an educated drummer, but my only roll in the band is to hit two home made drum kits over and over again while my guitarist struggles to keep in time with me.

And my Guitarist counterpart himself isn't exactly a person i like associating myself with; i don't like him all that much. We were friends at first, but then he kept feeling the need to assert himself over me and rub his 'success' in life in my face. That's not what friends do, or at least not in my book.

The worst part is, i can't just 'leave' the band. A lot of people in my family are now aware of the fact that i'm in a band, and their prouder of me than they ever have been before. If i just quit the band, i'll risk upsetting and disappointing them.

 

Another problem is that my social anxiety is starting to act up again. As you may know, i feel the need to always impress people, and be assured that they like me. Recently, in a group of online friends i have, i've been shown up by this other guy who is funnier, more entertaining, and more charming than me. I went from a respected member of the group to just another head in the room in a mere day. I haven't even been friends with them all that long, so i can be easily replaced by someone superior to me. i know it's selfish, but i just can't help but feel small and unwanted.

 

One last thing; i think i may have developed a crush on this girl online. Of course, it's online (she lives in Tennessee), so it's already pretty depressing to begin with (no offense to anyone in an online relationship). I haven't known this girl very long, so it's likely just a phase, but it still hurts when i think about her and all of this. She values me as a friend and thinks i'm entertaining, but as far as i know, that's all there is to it for her. Plus, there is also a lot of competition for her. Some people who are much more charismatic and have closer relationships to her than i are also interested in her (one of them even knows her IRL), and i can in no way compete with them. Plus, even if i did manage to pursue her, i just couldn't pair her with me. I have never been in a relationship that's lasted more than a month, and all of those have ended with me hurting my other half in some way. I just can't bring myself to hurt her, i care for her too much. I try to act as nice as i possibly can, but deep down, i know for a fact that i am a horrible person.

 

I just feel like i've lost all control over my life; that my forced optimism has forced me into a dark corner which i cannot back out from.

 

And those are all my major problems; this is the first time i've actually came close to crying when posting in this thread.
 

And, i don't know if i should say this, but... i think this is the closest i've ever came to complementing suicide in my life. I just have little whispers in my head telling me that all these problems can be resolved by just giving up completely... whispers which could eventually turn to shouts if left to it.

 

I don't want to die guys, i'm scared...

Edited by Pencil Doodle®

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There's one phrase that has kept me going through extremely hard times:

 

"Life is like a picture, you need the dark to compliment the light, just like you need the bad times to know the good times. Now that i've painted the dark i should be waiting on the good times."

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I didn't know until a few weekends ago but... I guess my step grandpa is really sick (plus he lost a part of his foot) and there's a possibility he might not make it.... he's been around my whole life so.. wow this is really hard news.... And I lost my grandmother nearly two years ago so this... Well he's currently in hospice. This is really scary. It adds all the stress my family already has from my dad loosing is job and having to get a less paying one as a carpet cleaner. I feel like in going to break down soon. I just can't loose another family member. :(

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I didn't know until a few weekends ago but... I guess my step grandpa is really sick (plus he lost a part of his foot) and there's a possibility he might not make it.... he's been around my whole life so.. wow this is really hard news.... And I lost my grandmother nearly two years ago so this... Well he's currently in hospice. This is really scary. It adds all the stress my family already has from my dad loosing is job and having to get a less paying one as a carpet cleaner. I feel like in going to break down soon. I just can't loose another family member. :(

I'm sorry to hear that chooster, I know you are strong enough to get through this and im always here to talk to you if you ever need some help getting through it.

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I know i already posted recently, and i also know that no one's probably going to reply because... well, the forums are kinda' dead, buuuut...

 

It has recently dawned on my that i am a very lonely person. I started college not to long ago, and i thought it would be the perfect opportunity to make new, great friends. As of yet, i haven't made a single friend. Sure, i have classmates who i occasionally attempt to have conversations with, but i can barely call them friends.

Ever since i finished secondary school, i have had next to no human interaction. People who i used to call my best friends have faded out of contact with me, and are now just living their own lives. I've gone back to the same state i was in several years back; where i literally had no friends.

Doesn't help that i'm pretty shite in social situations either. Despite the fact that i promised myself i wouldn't, i've been keeping to myself a lot at college. I often just go to the library or some other quiet place and draw in my free time. It goes without saying that this greatly hinders my social reputation. And whenever i do try to talk to people, i often find that we have nothing to talk about, and just awkwardly sit in silence until it's time to depart. Not to mention i seem to scare others off with my 'neurotic' sense of humour.

That's another thing; everyone always tells me to just 'be myself' and relax, but when i do 'be myself', no one seems to like me. And if someone does, i'm having a pretty freakin' hard time finding them.

 

The only friends i seem to have anymore are people i know over the internet, and that... just depresses me. The only people i'm capable of having long lasting friendships with are people i never speak to face-to-face. And even then, they don't treat me respect.

Even my family seems pretty distant. All they seem to do is argue, cook every once in a while, then just leave me alone to do my own thing.

I'm going to be 17 in less than a month, and i don't even know enough people to throw a party, let alone celebrate. What about when i turn 18? I'm i going to be lonely into my adulthood? It's just... i feel so lonely in this world...

 

Excuse me while i hug my childhood stuffed animal and cry myself to sleep

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well I don't think there's much to say that might help you. I guess it's just to try to fit in with the others. idk what else to say to you man.... I guess I just wanted to wish you luck further with this problem, and tell you that I want to try to help, but don't know how.

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Not much my self.. Just in borderline depression.. I won't get into the many details but my stepmom and dad are at the brink of a divorce with a new half sibling coming along. I'm just a semi mess right now..

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Not much my self.. Just in borderline depression.. I won't get into the many details but my stepmom and dad are at the brink of a divorce with a new half sibling coming along. I'm just a semi mess right now..

I know the feel with separation(Mom and pops split 1 year before I was born). I'm sorry choo, but the best thing to do is focus on coping with it and try to work with the hand your dealt. It's hard not having either one there and sometimes it might feel like it could have been your fault. But the best thing to do is remember that it isn't your fault and to help your sibling cope with it.

 

You have a strong heart choo, I have the utmost faith in you that you can work through it. I'm always here if you ever need to slide me a PM to talk about it.

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Just walk away.

 

Take down every comment from the fight. Re-activate your account. There's no need to hide from the site or start over because of this. If you take down any comment that might be misunderstood or offensive in this situation, then drop it and leave it alone, you've done all you should need to. If that guy keeps coming after you, don't retaliate. If it gets bad, go to the mods at deviantart.

 

I doubt he's following you by posting on the same pics. You probably travelled in the same circles there, and as new images come from people you're both watching, or from content you both have interest in, It's very likely that you both see it about the same time and will both comment on it the same time.

 

In the future, take the time to choose your phrasing a bit better. You seem to tend toward dramatic imagery. That's not always called for, and can exacerbate delicate situations. Also, you shouldn't use the phrase "broke up with me" regarding anyone who is not in a romantic relationship with you in the first place. Even good friends generally would be considered  "falling out" as opposed to "breaking up".  Saying that he "broke up with you"  implies that you believed there was such a relationship there. If he didn't feel that way, it's going to come off with a creepy stalker-y vibe.

 

There's millions of artists on deviantart. Having a problem with one shouldn't be the end of your world. Remember, you can still peep his art without him even knowing. So just try not to talk to him if you think it could continue to piss him off. If your very presence there does that, that's his problem. There's no need to stifle your creativity because of a misunderstanding.

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I suppose that I should finally come here to seek help, I'm more or less out of every other venue as they have all proven fruitless and not changed much. 

 

 Simple way to say it is that I have pretty deep moodswings between pretty chill n happy that can go decently quick to being depressed as all hell over something as stupid as a game or negative gesture. Doesnt go both ways really so it's a lot harder to go back to happy after the sad wave hits. Sad waves are generally just one little thing reminding me of other small things that are parts of medium things of large things that are bad about me and why I shouldnt bother continuing to exist. Then after that, I mope around trying to find something, anything to get me to be a happy, sociable and friendly person(and maybe love myself). In the bad slumps (which are a lot of slumps these days) I even get the thoughts that life is pointless and I have no point to continue the show as it will all end the same way or negligibly different either way. I mean I'm not the best at anything and never will be as that would already be apparent at the moment should that be the case of either scenarios. I will just go through my entire life unsatisfied with who I am and what I've done, never doin something that really has impact on me or others. perhaps I can make small impacts, but those are small and unfulfilling, leading back to the problem of me hating that I can't do anything that makes me happy.

  So all these bundles of joy results in me wishing no one cared about me so I could end my life without causing others grief. But I'm stuck since that isnt the case, and for some reason others caring just doesnt make me happy, since I didnt do much to make those who care, care. I just hate who I am, my lack of motivation, my depression, my mediocrity in everything I do and will ever do, only generally reaching above average before hitting my limit and being as useless in that area as I am in everything else. It's hilarious that I have the audacity to claim such woe when I'm living "the dream" for countless other people, and have so many opportunities for everything, But I have already failed it seems at fully taking advantage of such opportunities, starting everything I seem to care about too late cuss I played gamez instead of what was the important stuffs. All I seemed to have going for me a while ago was being a good guy, but I fucked that up when I was a terrible friend to my best friend, and probably never will have another being who I am(for long at least). 

    Overall, I just don't think I can be a happy person...I have short bursts sure but well...it sucks. It just sucks to be this guy that is such a downer and cant be a good sport or a positive thinker or a good person at heart. I feel like an anchor dragging everyone else in my life down from the heights they could reach without me bothering them. I would hope to change that and change myself to be able to be happy for more than 12 hours for once. I don't know if it's possible at this point, but here's to the chance of it bein possible. I don't want to be sad around those who have seen it...I just don't know how to be happy anymore.(I also hope I'm not bipolar *sigh* that would suuuuuck)

 

Consider yeeselves dismissed from this here text wall.

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You should get that depression checked out by a professional.

 

From what I've read, (I've been down a very similar road for a few years) you likely don't have to worry much about bipolar. If all the swings go down, it's more likely depression.

 

It doesn't really matter your success or circumstances, it can hit you just as hard regardless.

 

On your way to seeking professional counseling,  I suggest visiting psychcentral.com to read up on it. They have a lot of really helpful articles about how to deal with depression, hopelessness, low self-image, and stuff like that.

 

 

I've been fighting that beast a lot lately. Been terrified for the last two years that the company I work for was going to shut down. Those fears were justified back in march, when they actually did.  Now I have the boredom of not having a job to spend eight hours a day at mixed with the pressure to get one in six months (hopefully one that pays at least close to what I was making) or lose my lifestyle, house, and likely have to move my wife and myself in with a parent in a great failstorm.

 

The best I can really do is keep those thoughts at bay with a generous amount of positive thinking and distractions.

 

Don't worry too hard about a few missed or delayed opportunities. They tend to come back around. One good thing about this work shutdown was it finally forced me to figure out what I wanted to be when I grow up. I'm applying now for an Electrician's Apprenticeship. Once that's underway, I'll get on-the-job training and eventually be a certified Electrician. I'll finally have a career and not just a job. I may be 40 by the time that happens, but better late than never.

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I'm struggling to find a way to break it to my family that I want to join the Canadian Forces.  Even if they mostly do disaster relief and NATO operations, people do die on the job but I'm not afraid of that.  In fact, out of any branch of the army, I'd want to be an Armoured Soldier, driving a Leopard tank on the front lines carving into enemy territory.  The most troubling thing I'd have to tell them is that I want to be posted overseas, far away from Canada and from home.

My old friends from university don't want anything to do with me anymore, I have no friends here in Calgary.  My girlfriend left me a few weeks ago.  I've been fired from two of the three jobs I worked last year and have a dismal near future, I have a degree in Criminal Justice but I fell in with a very, very bad crowd last summer and made mistakes that will disqualify me from ever being a police officer which was what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Even if I could be a police officer someday, most police jobs are taken by people with Forces experience so I'd have to do this anyways.

So I have no reason to be in Canada any longer.  No friends, no job, no girl, nothing here for me but my family.  And it's a big world out there, I want to see it all.  It just feels like army life will solve all of my problems.  A job, friends, seeing the world, job experience I'd need anyways.

But how do you tell your mother you want to be on the other side of the world possibly without contact?  My family has always been close.

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I imagine you could take it in steps with her. 

 

Don't you need to go through basic training of some sort before being posted overseas?

 

If that's the case, You could have the military discussion now, then have time for her to adjust until you drop the overseas thing.

 

Also, if you wait until it is more solid, you'll have more facts about it.  It will be easier for her to hear "I want to post to France, etc., for x weeks" than to just hear " I want to go far, far away in any particular direction for any length of time"

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Just venting here.

 

Got let go from work back in march. The company just shut down. Despite having orders, they couldn't get the money around to purchase the materials needed for the orders we had, and their credit was dead.

 

Been hanging in there, applying to anything I can think of. Got an interview about once a week, but no job as of yet. I have a plan, though. I'm applying to the local Electricians' Union for an apprenticeship. I finally have an idea for a career that I will enjoy. Just a waiting game mostly, and waiting means getting a job in the meanwhile.

 

One of our dogs needed put down in late march, as well. She was about 16 or so, and was pretty much gone upstairs. I don't think she was really even cognizant when we took her.  Now our other one is due. It' a hard decision, because she is only 10. She's completely aware and still can muster some energy, but last year she got a mast cell tumor on her leg. They operated and cut it off, along with a bunch of maybe tumors all over her leg, but as soon as she healed they came back so fast and so bad. She has one about the size of two golf balls on the outside of her leg, and the ones on the inside grew together to something about the size of a catcher's mitt. They're both open, seeping, and necrotic. We couldn't afford to get them removed, even if it was possible, which I doubt without  taking the whole leg.  Even then they could just come back worse. We couldn't afford the chemotherapy, either.  She's already ten, and not a small dog, so even if we could magically put out 4-5 grand, she'd pretty much be spending most of the rest of her lifespan in recovery, anyway.  So it looks like we're taking her to get put down Thursday. She's the first dog I had since the one I had when I was a kid, and it's just so hard to let go and to say goodbye, especially when part of me is still screaming that she isn't that bad yet, that she still has good months left in her. But I know that isn't true. While she can still muster some enthusiasm, and even want to go for a waddle-y walk, she is suffering. Her weight has gone down until you can really feel her spine and ribs. her skin is hanging off her belly, and those tumors are just stinking, oozing, nasty necrotic flesh, and she is constantly licking and chewing at them.  I know it's time, but it so hard to let go.

 

 

 

 

 

So anyway that's what I've been up to lately.

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Uggh... I need to vent. 

 

I'm at a crossroads again and I'm keeping things away from my family for good reason. 

 

My family has always held this high expectation that I need to be this macho, manly masculine figure. That I need to be out getting my hands dirty and such. From what they see, I've been holding this image up to them, I work on cars and have an interest in them, and I help my father out with his automotive business whenever I can.  

 

However, deep inside, obviously, I'm just not that guy. Not only do I like my little pony, but I also make, and wear various dresses and skirts. I also have a whole bunch of makeup that I use. 

 

As much as I love expressing that side of myself, and as much as it feels right to me, it's always made me feel guilty, and ashamed. Whenever this side of myself turns up to my family, in even the slightest instance (long hair, etc), they meet me with ridicule, jokes, insults, disappointment and laughter. 

 

I'm going to Otakon this year, and my family's been planning on going as well. At otakon I'm planning on showing off my various handmade dresses and cosplays throughout the weekend. They will find out about this. And I don't know if I can handle their reactions. And it would hurt me so, so much to not wear my new cosplays, especially at a place like a convention where I feel completely safe to express myself and who I am. 

 

This has been driving me insane. I don't know what to do. Thinking about all of this just makes me wanna curl up in a ball and throw up >.< 

 

Some advice and good word would help. 

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ha ahahahahaha. my female parental unit just made a facebook post in which she made a passive aggressive ending comment on my lack of a job. gee thanks female parental unit. you're always so straight forward about it but nooo once it goes on social media can't be straight forward about it, that would make you look bad.

 

i mean for christ sake the first month i was home you were there for me handing out resume after resume with no result, even online application but noo have to passive aggressively make my son look bad on facebook. completely ignoring the extended amount of sickness he had which kept him from doing more than ONLINE applications which also were fruitless.

and oh no it's been 3 weeks since i last did that. but oh wait, you needed me to help set up for my brother's wedding and thus i didn't have as much time to do it anyway but now that its been 1.5 weeks since then its totally okay to make a comment about it because he hasn't bothered to try.

 

If this doesn't explain why i refer to the birthgivers as parental units and not parents or mother and father i don't know what does. Christ always straight forward about it to my face but once she makes it a public statement it has to be passive aggressive. i honestly don't know what's worse the fact that she's too much of a bitch to be straight forward on social media or the fact that she blatantly made an insulting comment directed towards me public

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This is my final post on Ponyville.  I'm not sticking around to read replies.

 

I'm cutting loose all my former life, hoping something new will come about.

 

I'm still underemployed while my UC benefit continues to run out.

 

I'm facing constant rejection in my desperate search to get a full-time job to keep the bills paid.

 

After investing over $200 in travel expenses, I've been deemed 'medically unfit' to work at the TSA.

 

My emotions have ranged back and forth from Suicidal depression to Violent anger over the last few days.

 

There is honestly no one here I connect with anymore.

 

I haven't been interested in Ponies for over a year.

 

Goodbye.

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